Keep Calm and Carry On: Part 1 - beginning the blog series

I am finally starting to read the books that Craig Call gave me to read back before SPAC tour. I have been pretty busy and then I couldn't get myself to actually read for a while, but I am finally doing it.

The first one I am reading is called Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy By Richard G. Scott of the Quarm of the 12 Apostles.

If it was my book I would mark it all up and then write about it later, combining all of my thoughts and spiritual feelings/experiences into one big l o n g post. However, it isn't my book. It's Craig's book. I can't really do that. So what to do? Write it all down in my journal like I would have the book and more? I am almost out of room in my journal and I need a new one. Soon. I know that I am going to have a lot of things that I will want to read back on and remember how this or that made me feel so I had to come up with something before I started reading.

That is when it hit me. A brrrrrrrilliant idea! I have a blog. Why not use that? Duh.

So, I decided that I am going to start a blog series that have thoughts concerning this book; things I have thought about, learned, realized, or just thought were interesting. 

I guess I will start with the first thought right here and right now. For the rest of the series that will come, you can go to the {keep calm and carry on: the series} page of this blog.

Elder Scott says on the subject of having a settled/unsettled conscience, "The ability to have an unsettled conscience is a gift of God to help you succeed in this mortal life by being motivated to make needed change."

Wow. I never realized that an unsettled conscience was a sign from God that meant that something needed to be improved or changed. Thinking back on all of the things that happened this past year and all of the times that I had an unsettled mind I realize that it is so true. 

For example. Back in November of 2011, right around my birthday, I was in a ton of debt. I was so worried. I was working but I couldn't seem to figure things out. I couldn't register. I hadn't received my scholarship because I couldn't register as well. This was the lowest I have ever felt. The smallest I have ever been. I was scared out of my mind and didn't know what to do. 

The idea of only working during the Winter semester was planted in my mind. People do that all of the time. You can take a semester off no problem. Two semesters? Don't even think about it because it is like you are giving up on school since you took off a year. I strongly considered it. I would have done it. I was planning on it.

I still thought about doing SPAC (the back up folk dance team that tours to elementary schools) however. I wanted it and I had worked hard for it. I would be giving up pretty much all of my chances of ever getting on PAC if I took off the semester to work. But I needed the money.

Conflicted feelings about what to do were driving me nuts. I went to the temple and I could have sworn that I had gotten my answer to drop out for the semester and give up SPAC. Yet, I was told that I needed to at least audition for SPAC. It would be a good opportunity for me and a fun experience.

I auditioned.

I got in. Wait. WHAT?!

Now what do I do? I prayed and got told that this was what I needed. I needed to be on this team. I knew I would grow a lot. I knew that school was not something that I want to end.

I had been thinking about dropping out completely. Altogether. done. Finito. Audios to getting a Bachelors of Arts in Dance. If only I had seen and knew earlier that my unsettled and conflicting thoughts were a sign to me saying that I needed to change. My work ethic needed to change.

My work ethic has definitely changed. I am currently working full time at BYU, the same positions that I did during the school year. I need this and I actually quite enjoy it. The people are fun to be around and we joke with each other all of the time. 

Something told me it wasn't right. I took that to the Lord. I am definitely going to keep an eye on an unsettled mind a lot closer than I have been.

Look for peace and clarity. You will be calm and you will carry on.