At 20 Weeks:

So here I am at 20 weeks, halfway through this pregnancy. The last four weeks have gone by extremely slow with the anticipation that we would be finding out the gender at 19 1/2 weeks. A lot has gone on but it isn't that exciting and it is mostly just the day to day stuff that we do.

On Monday (January 27) we went to the main clinic that Central Utah Clinic has here in Provo for our ultrasound. Well we are for sure having a little beautiful and probably stubborn from the looks (and movements....) of it, baby GIRL! We called it. There is something to this whole mother's intuition. There must be. I knew all along that my first child would be a girl, for many other reasons too yes, but mothers intuition has got to play a part in it to some extent right?

There have been a few adventures during the pregnancy, but there is one that I hate....
Pregnancy Update:
How far along am I? I am twenty weeks! Halfway there. Crazy to think that huh? How are you feeling? Pretty good. I get a lot of what they call round ligament pain due to growing. So in other words I feel great other than my darn growing pains. 😊 Any cravings or aversions? Not many aversions other than a lot of sweets and Chocolate. I have always loved Mexican food and this pregnancy has just made it more prominent. Anything spicy and Mexican and I generally will be happy. What do you do for exercise? Other than my daily walk to work I don't really get to do much. That walk keeps me on my toes as it is.

Speaking of that walk.... there are a lot of awesome things that have been happening during this semester and pregnancy, however walking to work has not been fun. It is the scariest moment of my life every single day that I walk out that door. Especially on days like today too. After a day of rain and then a wet snow with some more sun to help melt it down in the past two days, it has created a lot of ice... and s lot of black ice.

I gotta tell ya, there is nothing more scary than the feeling of slipping on ice. Now normally it wouldn't be that scary, but when you have a baby to think about, keep healthy, and to protect, falling is the absolute scariest thing that could happen to me this semester. The hard thing is that I don't use the car unless Chad is sick and doesn't go to work at six am... which has only happened once. So every morning I get up and get ready just to leave at 7:30 am to get to work at 8. Yeah. It is a half hour walk, and a mixture of up hill and down hill.

Can you see my terror every day? Ugh. I sure can't wait for the spring weather to come and stay for good because I am tired of the freezing temperatures in the morning and mixed weather during the main part of the day. I think mostly I am just ready to not be scared to walk a measly 1.2 miles.

Delynne Peay

Today I woke up and got ready like any other day. I was about to head out the door when all the sudden a wave of morning sickness came over me. To the toilet I went. Ten minutes later and basically having to put all my makeup on again, I was finally out the door to head to work. I still wasn't feeling very great but I had to go. I don't know how but I made the walk in twenty minutes instead of the normal thirty. I didn't change my pace or anything but I just shaved ten minutes off of the morning commute for me somehow.

I got to work, still feeling like I should have been back in bed or over the toilet, and did the check run with Emerson, like every other morning (Tuesday's and Thursday's at least). Once check run was finished I snatched my massive bag of Goldfish snacks and sat down to scan some of the documents for the day that were of a higher priority.

While I was waiting for a particularly large batch to index (basically it is just uploading to a site online where we can manage it and view it), I decided to snag a few minutes on Facebook. As soon as I opened it up the first post stopped me dead in my tracks. My friend Deborah Mann had put it up.

Tonight, I, along with a world of Folk Dancers, am in mourning. We lost a giant, a friend, a teacher, director, mentor, and all around wonderful woman today. 
I would say rest in peace, Delynne Peay, but you never rested in this life, so I know you are already busy at work in the next.

I started bawling. I couldn't believe it. "No, she was doing better. Her oxygen levels were getting better. She is too stubborn to leave! No," I thought, over and over again.  I went down on my news feed and there was post after post expressing love and remorse for this beloved woman. 

For those that may not know why I am so torn up about this particular loss here is a background of who Delynne Peay is, and was for not just me, but for thousands of others that came through the BYU Folk Dance program.

The summer of 2011 was the summer that I got to know Delynne. She was in charge of the Backup Folk Dance Ensemble for the coming fall semester (Fall 2011). There was going to be a workshop help the week before classes started. It was a workshop but also the audition. I was intimidated by Delynne at first. I didn't know her at all and was just a bit scared. I had never really done anything like this before. I was talking with one of my friends, Thomas Call, about it and he suggested that I become a TA for the beginning world dance class that summer. Delynne was teaching it. It didn't cost and wasn't a credit. It was all volunteer back then. I thought that would be great and I would be a TA with Thomas and I would get to know Delynne and her me, right before workshop. 

That ended up being the best summer. I was a TA for Delynne, that beginning class specifically, twice because of that. She trusted me, she saw my dancing ability before the masses came (there were a lot of people at that workshop... It was a little overwhelming), and I ended up being on that Fall 2011 Backup team. I learned so much that semester and my dancing ability was starting to change. 

I asked Delynne how I could improve and she said, "You need to melt into the style." To sum it up, don't look like a contemporary dancer. When doing a Russian dance, look Russian; and Israeli dance, look Israeli, ect. I needed to look the part and to look for the little nuances that made that country's dance style unique. With her help I started to do that. I got close to Delynne that semester, but even closer when I was on SPAC (Spring Performing Arts Company) the next semester. 

Oh man. Those were the best and hardest months of my life. I have never had so much fun and learned so much about myself and the people that I was representing in those dances. I became not just the American I am, but a Moldovan, a Yemenite woman, a Ukrainian woman, and a saucy Mexican woman, all within 45 minutes to an hour. 

Delynne was such a key part of my growth that year. That was the year that Chad was on his mission, the most financially challenging year of my life, and an incredible spiritual year. Delynne just let you talk to her. I have these two notes that she would write to people. I remember feeling overwhelmed one day and so stressed out about a lot of things in my life, just to get one of these notes. I kept them and I always will. 

So what do you say about a woman that has helped me grow so much? How do you thank her for being your second mom practically? Because of her I knew that I could never settle for anything less than what I deserved, in many aspects of my life, not just in who I marry. 

I have been trying to think of what to say all day about Delynne Peay. How do you say thank you to such a woman? Delynne has helped me learn so much about who I am and what I stand for. She helped me solidify certain aspects of my life. She saw potential in me as a person and a dancer, potential that I hadn't seen in myself in years. She taught me how to love so deeply with out a second thought. Delynne was much more than a dance teacher to me and thousands more. She was a mentor, a friend, a shoulder to lean on, a testimony to grow from, a mother away from home, and so much more. My mind is completely baffled that she is not on this mortal earth anymore, but I know that she is watching out for her loved ones and is no longer in any pain. Keep dancing. Keep smiling. And thank you for being such a wonderful light in my life. The BYU Folk Dance program will not be the same with out you. Bless that baby (boy or girl) in the next five months for me and send them with a hug and a kiss. I love you Delynne.

I wrote this on my Facebook about an hour ago. 

Today started out bad by throwing up and not feeling physically all to great, but after a turn of sad events, I think I am just grateful for the years that I was able to know Delynne.

Bless that baby (boy or girl) of mine before they are sent down to me. 

The SPAC 2012 girls at the Oquirrah Mountain Temple.

Keep dancing for us Delynne! We love you!