This Seems To Happen A Lot To Me

Lately I have been feeling kind of out of place. I am only 17 I do realize that and for a really long time I didn't actually feel like I was going to be a Senior in High School. Well life has kind of changed for me. I am SO ready to get into my Senior year. I am SO ready to grow up. I know that I have my whole life to look forward to and that I shouldn't waste my teenage years but what is the use?? I feel that way already.

I am in the Young Single Adults class for Sunday School. Every week is a struggle to finish the lesson. I haven't really learned a whole lot this year to tell you the truth. Dad has tried to talk to the Bishop about it but nothing has changed. I used to be really talkative but one week I just thought to myself, 'I'm am not going to keep doing this anymore. I am wasting my time as well as my teachers and the other kids in my class.' I haven't really been disruptive for a really long time. We didn't have a teacher two weeks ago, and we didn't know where we were supposed to go, and Dad, being the Sunday School President, didn't know that they weren't going to be there. I finally decided this last week that I am going to start going to my old teachers class. He teaches the year younger than mine, and I learned so much from him last year.

This whole issue with my Sunday School class isn't just the teachers though, there are only 17-18 year olds in the class... so much for Young Single Adults.... Those that are supposed to be in the class are rather on missions (we have 11 out right now and one is comming home in less than two weeks so hopefully he will help if he comes to the class), in the Mission prep class... which is good because they need that, or they teach primary. I want to teach primary when I turn 18 instead of going to this class and Young Womens. There are two girls in my Sunday school class that just don't stay on topic. One of them just talks and talks and talks and it's almost always about guys. The other one brings up things that she thinks have a lot to do with the lesson and at first they do but then she keeps rambling on and at the end we are off the lesson subject. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but I just can't do it right now. I realize how stupid and immature I was and still am.

I don't know why I feel like this but I just do. I have been feeling like this a lot lately.

On a really crazy note (and quite sad actually), I only have one more year to dance at Lifehouse Performing Arts Academy. I am the only Senior so far. We might have another one if Grace Newman does come back to dance with us like she has said in the past. I get to do a Senior Solo and I don't know if I want to do the song I had originally planed. The song I was starting to do it to was All These Things by Stephen Speaks. If anyone has an idea, tell me! I need an idea.... and yes, I am listening to Atlantic right now Jess. ;) Anyways, I will be doing a lot of numbers this next year. I want everyone that can, to be able to come to my shows this year.

OH GOSH!! We are doing the Nutcracker this year again... and I can actually do it!!! Senior... no teachers doing any parts.... I have a really good shot at getting a heck of a solo! Cross your fingers! I am getting new Pointe shoes within this next week (dance is more important than going to New York... some of you may say other wise but that is how I feel) and I am going to try to go to the dance studio once a week and condition by myself... I might see if Rachel, or Katie, or Kenna want to come with me some days but I mainly want to be by myself while I am doing this. My dance teacher Lindsey Chant called me and told me that I needed to get ready. We are having auditions for the Nutcracker the first couple of weeks of dance, so in other words, by the end of August I should have had Auditions and the week after that or so I should know.

I am so so so so SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO excited!!! I am ready to get out there! Watch out world! Here I come!